I was walking in Cruz Park the other day when I noticed a black man lurking around. At first I was a bit nervous, but then I thought to myself, “He might actually be a nice guy.” I decided to wander closer and take a look. As I got closer, I realized the guy was masturbating. In my shock I quickly darted away not knowing what to do.
When I got home, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit violated. I mean, why was he out there, in broad daylight, doing something so… personal. It didn’t make any sense to me. I had to tell my friend about it and get their opinion.
When I told my friend what had happened, they were understandably indignant. “That bastard!” they exclaimed. “That’s not something people should be doing out in the open. It’s inappropriate and rude!”
My friend was right, but also made me think. What if the guy was in a tough place in life? Maybe he felt like he didn’t have any other option but to do something so provocative in a public space. I started to feel a little empathetic towards him, and it made me think that maybe he was acting out of desperation.
Still, I had to wonder if it was appropriate to just be out and about, exhibiting such behavior? In my opinion, sex toys it was far too much of a breach of personal privacy. Sure, we all have our needs, but it should never be at the cost of other people’s feelings.
That being said, even though I obviously don’t condone it, I did understand the man’s plight. Maybe tough times were driving him to do something he would normally never do, vibrators and so I couldn’t really judge him.
Perhaps instead of selling judgment, we should focus on understanding and compassion. The black man at Cruz Park may have been looking for an outlet in a desperate moment, and we should all be considerate of that. We should see the humanity in all of us, even when situations like this crop up.
At the same time, it’s also important to realize the significance of having boundaries and the respect of personal space. It’s okay to sometimes take a step back and ask ourselves if our behavior is counter-productive or offensive to another person. It’s up to us to consider the repercussions of our actions and take accountability for them.
I guess this episode makes me think about the bigger questions that reach far beyond this black man in the park. It’s so easy to get caught up in a single issue and forget that the problems go much deeper. How do we handle conflicts among us as human beings, and how do we move on when uncomfortable situations occur?
I feel like the answer to this isn’t always so clear. We may not always know the right thing to do in a given moment, but it’s still important to have a compassionate approach. We need to find a balance between empathy and accountability, and do our best to be understanding without making excuses.
Maybe in this situation it means seeking out the man to understand why he was out there on that day. Maybe it’s offering him a better solution, whether that’s a listening ear or professional help. It’s ultimately within our power to listen to each other and empathize with each other’s struggle.
At the end of the day, it still doesn’t answer my original question – why was this man out there in Cruz Park? Maybe I will never know the answer to that, but I can still take something away from this experience. Here’s to hoping that the guy can eventually get what he’s looking for, but that he can also find it in a way that makes both him and the world around him a better place.